HER

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I drench myself in perfumes
Hide behind this mask of makeup
Cover myself with these tight clothes
And wear these shoes to make me her
That I will never be                             

Pretty hurts
As I pop this pimple
Tweeze these hairs
Add to these nails
Put on these lashes
Wear this weave

To please the eye
To be called beauty                                                           
To represent beauty

But I’m tired of been pretty
I’m tired of trying to be beautiful
I’m weary of the pain that comes with pretty
Most of all I’m tired of hiding
Who I am behind her
I’m tired of trying to get hips
Wearing push up bras for
 fuller and bigger breast
I do not want to wear these tight
Heels that hurt and leave blisters
I constantly fight
With myself  and who
I am meant to be
I wonder if I am pretty enough
Skinny enough
If I talk right, look right, walk right
To be like her

I don't want to be her
I want to be me
And I want you to love
Me for me

                                           the lovepoet
                                         from the heart



p.s  HER is society's definition of a perfect, beautiful woman.


PAIN

She shakes
Weak, filled with pain
As she carries the world
On her shoulders

She cant
Bare to see herself
Face creased and sad
As tears slowly fall to the ground

She wishes
She could stop
This feeling within her heart
Rip it out of her chest

She hopes
Someone will hear her cry
Comfort her, hold her
Just take the pain away

But she is alone
And destined to
Suffer this pain
Inflicted on her
By death

For she is one
Of the few he
Tells when his
Sent to take
A person away

She cries and cries
Calls out for help
But no one is there
No one hears her
So she drugs herself to sleep

Hoping to wake with the feeling gone


                                                   the lovepoet

I FORGIVE MYSELF



I forgive myself
From the hurt and pain
I caused upon myself

I forgive myself
For believing that I am a disappointment
Because you said so

I forgive myself
For feeling unworthy, unintelligent, careless
Because I believed I was

I forgive myself
From crying night after night  
Because I thought I was a failure

I forgive myself
For believing I was a failure
Because I did not see that it was an opportunity,
a learning experience

I forgive myself
For thinking I could never be loved
Because you didn’t love me

I forgive myself
For not loving me enough
Because I thought I was not the
 type to be loved by anyone not even me

I forgive myself
For thinking I am ugly
Because my skin is not light
My hips are not wide
My face is not smooth

I forgive myself
For not thinking I’m smart
Because I didn’t know maths
Nor did I always get As

Lastly I forgive myself
For trying to commit suicide
Because I thought I was a problem
A burden, a disgrace, unfit to live, fearful
Mostly because I was a coward


                                                         the lovepoet
                                                     from deep within the soul


The Plight Of A Woman

for we as women are to suffer the plight that man has put upon us, we are to be their property, possessions even when they have many, that no one must have. we suffer the loss of love, emotional betrayal, rape, molestation, physical abuse of all sorts and are expected to still love the one who bestows these actions upon us. I wish not to have a daughter and watch her watch me suffer under her father's cruel rule nor do I want a daughter who I know will have to suffer like wise. 


                                                                           the lovepoet 

And I Wait

Sometimes I'm tempted, tempted to call him over,

have him hold me in his arms, take away this lonely feeling,

but then I think of you, your tender caress, sweet words, warm touch.  

So I suffer this cold loneliness with images of you

running through my mind and wait for  the day I see you

and I wonder, wonder if you suffer, suffer the same for me,

make sacrifices for me. I wonder if you keep yourself for me

as I do for you. If you like me or love me, if you feel the same way I

feel about you. If you patiently wait for the day when you see me,

if your mind is filled with thoughts of me . If you think of the day


when our bodies embrace each other and our hands knot together to make one.




                        the lovepoet


p.s. listen to Deborah Cox's "Nobody's Supposed To Be Here" while reading. Thanks to Onyeka U. for the title.








These tears will fall for you no more

This voice will scream out your name no more

This mind will think of you no more

This heart will long for  you no more

These hands will feel for you no more


the lovepoet